Habit #2: Begin with the end in mind

(Principles of Personal Leadership)

I am not the person I want to be. I can be, though, but I need to know who that person is. If I believe the first habit (being proactive allows you to direct your own life), then all I need is a clear image of the goal.

The basis for righteous action is that “all things are created twice.” The first creation is mental, and the second creation is physical. Much like the carpenter’s rule “measure twice, cut once,” this relies on the assumption that you have the right goal in mind. The first creation happens no matter what, so you either take responsibility for it or empower the world to make your decisions for you.

Basically, Habit 1 says, “You are the creator.” Habit 2 is the first creation.

I was struck by one anecdote from the book, that of former Egyptian president Anwar Sadat. It described his conscious change from Israel-hating to peace-loving while he was in prison:

“He learned to withdraw from his own mind and look at it to see if the scripts were appropriate and wise. He learned how to vacate his own mind and, through a deep personal process of meditation, to work with his own scriptures, his own form of prayer, and rescript himself.

(side note: I simply must try my hand at meditation.)

Much of the success of this habit is based on a Personal Mission Statement, which is rather mundanely named, but is basically a crystallized set of correct principles, which becomes your standard for behavior, much like the function of the Constitution for America. This then serves as your changeless core, which allows you to live with change around you.

When your life is centered on your principles, it provides you with security, guidance, wisdom and power. Some or all of these will be lacking if your life is centered on anything else – like your partner, family, money, work, possessions, or pleasure – I myself can personally attest to the problems that arise from being pleasure- or partner-centered. If your sense of self-worth comes primarily from your partner, you will never be able to respond appropriately to your partner’s emotional needs; you will simply react to them, and usually in an escalating fashion. If you are centered on momentary pleasure, you will simply stagnate until you find another center.

Having a principle center doesn’t just happen, though – you need that personal mission statement. Furthermore, you can’t just write one out and be done with it. It takes a great deal of introspection and continual revision. Many people are inspired to do this spontaneously when they have a life-changing (usually catastrophic) experience. You can consciously create your own perspective-expanding experience with a little visualization, though. Write your own eulogy, as you would like it to be. Be as vivid and rich in detail as you can. This can help you discover what it is you truly want from yourself and your life.

Once you have the personal mission statement, use it to craft your own personal affirmations or mantras – messages to remind yourself of your principles, to tell yourself when you find yourself acting contrary to those principles. It is crucial to remember, though, that this is a form of programming, so you want to make sure the program is right (that your principles are well-formed) before you do this.

The process of creating the mission statement is a personal one, but some elements are helpful to everyone:

1. Physically write it out, don’t just think it up. The act of writing distills, crystallizes, and clarifies thought and helps break the whole into parts.
2. Separate your principles into the roles to which they apply. For example, you may be a mother, sister, friend, professional, etc. You probably have goals for all of these different roles, and your principles should reflect that.

There are important messages on family and organizational mission statements, but my current focus is on improving myself, so I will skip these for now.

Next Habit: Put First Things First!