(Principles of Personal Vision)
This habit is about two things:
- Being self-aware, and
- Being responsible for your own actions
Humans are self-aware. Simple as that may seem, it is a very profound truth – we are the only creatures capable of thinking about our own feelings, moods, and thoughts as concepts separate from ourselves. In addition to
- self-awareness, we also have
- imagination,
- conscience, and
- independent will.
These four make up our Freedom to Choose, which sits between stimulus and response. Being truly proactive means exercising that freedom, so that your actions are driven by your values. Being reactive, on the other hand, means being driven by your feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, and by your environment. Sounds like an automaton, no? Well, it isn’t as repugnant as you might think; it is also an easy way to absolve yourself of blame for things in your life that bother you.
The hard part is recognizing that it isn’t what happens to you that hurts you – it is YOUR RESPONSE to what happens to you that hurts you. It is all too easy to fall back on reactive thoughts like “I can’t” or “I have to,” and proclaiming “I choose” is much harder, but it is also necessary to establish your personal independence.
The final thought in this chapter is about recognizing the limits of your control. Problems fall into one of three categories:
- Direct control – solved by working on your habits (private victories),
- Indirect control – solved by changing your methods of influence (public victories), and
- No control – simply learn to accept these, and be at peace with them.
I have a great many regrets in my life, but I have no control over them (at least, not anymore). While acknowledging past mistakes is a necessary step, it is even more important to correct and learn from them.
Next: Habit 2 – Begin with the end in mind!
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